It has come to my attention that I do a lot of one-upsmanship in my head. Not in a malicious way, but in a subtle, almost imperceptible manner. When someone shares an achievement, I find myself mentally tallying how my own accomplishments compare. When someone discusses their struggles, I instinctively reflect on my own challenges, often framing mine as more significant.
Introspecting upon it, I feel that it is very shallow of me. This constant seeking of validation either through comparison or sometimes even genuine concern from personal struggles to help the other person, takes away from the essence of humility.
Apart from that, this humble bragging is a shield I use to protect my ego. By downplaying others' achievements or amplifying my own struggles, I create a narrative that keeps my self-esteem intact. justifying my own worth in relation to others becomes a way to avoid confronting insecurities.
True humility, I realise, is about recognising the value in others without feeling the need to elevate oneself in comparison. It is about appreciating achievements and struggles for what they are, without the need to measure them against my own.
I need to get out the shallow pool of my mindset, and need to be deeply aware of my accomplishments, my knowledge and my positive qualities, but having zero need to announce them.
"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less." - C.S. Lewis